Lionhead Studios - Archive

6. GEEKS

 Although Lionhead has the reputation for hiring the phenomenally talented, a quick look around the studio would seem to indicate that many of the employees conform to the stereotype of computer games developers.

So we decided to compile a statistical profile of the archetypal Lionhead worker using figures gained from all the employees of Lionhead and Black & White Studios.


Firstly, the figures:

Games developers often get so engrossed in their work that they forget to eat. Even when they do, it's usually pizza or curry, delivered directly to their desks. We discovered that 12.8 per cent of Lionheaders are very, possibly abnormally thin. That's more than the average for the general public (which is 7 per cent), so being thin is an advantage if you want a job with us.

 

12 per cent of us are left-handed. That's only slightly more as the population at large, but you can't argue with the facts. Being left-handed is useful if you want to work here. Apparently left-handers die earlier than righties, so you don't need to worry about your pension as much, too.
12 per cent of Lionhead and Black & White Studios have goatee beards. This is a lot higher than the national average, so it's definitely worth cultivating one, no matter how unpleasant they look, if you want a job.

A big 28.5 per cent of us wear glasses. Apparently that's a bit higher than the national average as well, so if you're a specky four-eyes binsy, you're amongst myopic friends here.

A frankly scary 17 per cent of us have shaven heads. Why? We're not sure. Some of us do it to draw attention away from our misshapen faces. Others because years of being bathed in cathode rays have caused our hair to drop out in tufts. Yet more insist that it's something to do with fashion, but are clearly cropping their heads simply to avoid washing their hair.

 

Long hair. 10 per cent of the males working here have hair which drops below their shoulders. This is quite a bit higher than the average for the UK, so it's got to help if you're sending in that CV. And never forget that 'hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain.'

 

Not a pretty picture, is it? And we’re not just reinforcing stereotypes here – these people are all over Lionhead. But we’ve saved the best ‘til last. Our survey went deeper and in fact we asked everyone on the teams how they think of themselves. The image to the left is how 88 per cent of Lionhead perceive themselves.

(Thanks go to all of Lionhead’s Code Assassins, Leet Shoguns, Engine Warriors and Art Ninjas, without who this embarrassing survey would not have been possible.)


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